


Bringing back what is lost

by Pinocchi0



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depressed Eren Yeager, M/M, Pining Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sad Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:46:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinocchi0/pseuds/Pinocchi0
Summary: “I want my Eren back”He pulled me in his arms as he snake his arms around my waist. I cried loudly in his arms, burying my face on his shoulder while wrapping my arms on his neck.“Let me bring Eren back”
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115





	Bringing back what is lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, so this is a one shot story. I hope you enjoy it. It was a start, as i plan on writing for more.

While other students prefer the fun of talking to their friends, socializing with others, participating in club activities, being active when it comes to sports, and even planning a hang out after school. Entering happily while freely wanting to do the things they want, they make the most of the life that a high school teenager has.

But Eren Jeager had something else on his mind. He prefers to sit alone on the grass near the soccer field where he can calmly breathe the breeze while leaning against a tree, wearing headphones while listening to its loud music and willing to ignore the people around him.

At the same time he looked up at the sky while a small smile painted on his lips. He immediately released his Diary and its sketchpad. Yes, he prefers to be alone as he works on things that are beautiful and captivating to his eyes.

Eren is not an Introvert, he has friends and he can be with them during recess, lunchtime and even going home after classes. But every time he was with his friends, he would just listened to their bullshits as they speak, even though they are noisy sometimes, arguing to stupid things, making a big deal of their useless quarrels, Eren can't deny that sometimes they are enjoyable and nice to be with.

Eren just prefers that he has more time for himself. Mikasa and Armin also try to invite him on their walks with the troops, but Eren refuses them.

As Eren looks around, looking for a good thing, person, or any other beautiful scene that get attention to make it as his subject of what he will do today. Eren dreams of becoming an artist, but unfortunately his family wants him to become a doctor because they want him to follow in his father's footsteps. Even though it was against his will, he forced himself to like it because he could do nothing. His family pays for his tuition, not him.

He still remembers when he was a child, he showed his painting to his mother and father, at first they were happy and proud because he was good at drawing or in arts in general but when he said he wanted to study arts, his parents lost their smile and the force him to become a doctor. Though as time goes by, his parents somehow support him to what he wants when he goes to college, and that what makes Eren happy.   


  
That happiness didn’t last though, not when something happened that changed his life forever.

  
  
he can do nothing now, they have made the life they want for him, which he does not want.

Eren points his pencil at the sky, while looking for the right angle for the drawing he will make.

the weather is beautiful today, Sun as bright as it continues to shine, dancing freely in the sky as it is surrounded by blue clouds like cotton candy in the softness of its appearance.

Eren's attention is now focused on his sketchpad and ignores noisy people, just listening to its loud music that is more pleasant to listen to than people who have nothing good to say sometimes.

Looking at his subject again, as he smiles and looks at his draft again, he would have continued again but he was shocked when a ball went through his sketchpad causing it to ruin the straight line he was suppose to make. He immediately removed his headphones and looked to see who was at fault for what happened, he took the ball and was ready to be reprimanded but appeared in front of him was none other than a Levi Ackerman.

Eren just closed his mouth and immediately handed Levi his ball, he had no time for people.

"I'm sorry, did you get hurt, Eren?" Worry is visible to Levi’s voice. 

"no, leave now" Eren chased him away, what he didn't want at all when he was doing something was to disturb him. Especially not a person named Levi. 

he returned his full attention to what he was doing, erased the ruined line and adjusted it to his liking. He was about to start again but he noticed that Levi was still not leaving in his position.

Eren really wanted to ignore his whole presence, but he couldn't help to ignore the shadow that was blocking the light, and blocking his view. He took a deep breath, glaring at Levi.

"what do you need?"

"Rude, Mikasa said you’re nice, seems like she’s lying"

he was still standing while placing the soccer ball on his waist.

"I don't care, leave Levi. You’re blocking my subject"

Levi just smiled at him and really had the guts to sit next to him, his forehead furrowed due to the young man's actions. he would like to complained and spatting shit to this man for clearly distracting him.

"Can I see your work?"

he just looked at Levi, ignoring what he said. This guy is really a pain in the ass. Didn’t he have practice in soccer? What the hell does he want. Eren stare at him for the second time as now that Levi was close to him, Eren noticed his detailed handsome face. straight black hair styled in an undercut, as well as narrow, intimidating steel gray eyes and a deceptively youthful face

  
 _Can I paint him? it is better to use paint than just drawing_.

"of course you can"

Eren looked at him blinking his eyes in shock, "did I say that out loud?" He question while tilting its head.

Levi just nodded while there was a silly smile on his lips.

_This is fucking embarrassing!_

Eren just took a deep breath and put away his belongings and quickly shove them in his bag. Levi frowned and immediately grabbed his hand to stop it.

"What are you doing?"

"ahm, leaving obviously"

Eren withdrew his hand and proceeded to put away his belongings. he got up immediately and walked quickly, he even heard Levi shouting his name but he put his earphones back on and just continued walking.

Levi, on the other hand, just shook his head while there was a small smile on his lips. he took a deep breath and was about to leave when he saw a notebook on the lawn.

He hesitates to pick it up because the owner might come back, but he only knows one person who comes to this place. Eren.

In Eren’s fresh year, Levi immediately notice Eren, every time they practice soccer they always see him under that tree, wear headphones and take out his sketchpad while completely ignoring the world. While the sun light shone against his tanned skin, the wind making his hair dance with them and god his eyes. His stunning, beautiful teal-green eyes. 

When Levi first saw him, giggling with Mikasa together with his friends. When he first laid his steel gray eyes to Eren’s was like looking at a clean blue- green ocean. 

Since then, he always asks about him to Mikasa. Mikasa is really irritated with him because he talk down five person in one fight, scowl at annoying people, glaring at the girls flirting at him but don’t have the guts in talking with Eren. Of course he don’t have the guts, it’s not easy to talk to someone you like. 

Eren is the one Levi knows who doesn't want to talk to other people, he is the kind of person who doesn’t care about your fucking business. Eren is a big mystery to him, what his true nature is, what his likes and dislikes are. Everything about Eren, Levi wants to know it all. He wanted to talk about it for a long time, especially when Eren was always lying close to where they practiced. Levi tried, but to his luck Eren always run away from him, always chasing everyone away.

Levi was sitting in his room while staring on the notebook that Eren had left earlier. there is no other possible owner of it because he is the only one who always hangs out in that place.

Levi is nervous, because he is not the type of person who interferes with the belongings of others. but because it might help him to get to know Eren, he tried to open it with a sketch drawing holding a cutter and put it on his wrist, blood dripping while he wear a sad smile in his face. 

Levi suddenly felt nervous and opened the second page of the notebook only to fund out that this is Eren’s diary. 

_shit, is it right for me to read this? Is this really belong to Eren?_

Levi was afraid that Eren might get angry when he found out that he had opened his Diary, so he slowly close it, only halt when something caught his eye.

**Eren was lost years ago**

Levi then turn the next page 

**I’m tired, tired of hearing nonsense words coming from their mouth. Their words that didn’t help me find myself again, hurtful words that repeatedly kills me.**

Levi’s heart tightened as he read this short sentences that has a deep meaning. 

**I don’t have the strength, I don’t have the life to continue anymore.**

**Can’t tell anyone how much I want to take a rest.**

**I Don’t think I’m being free.**

As Levi continue to read some more, he decided to proceed at least from the recent log. 

**Mom, Dad, I miss you both. If you should’ve stay. If you didn’t leave me behind, maybe I can never be the same again. I’m living with emptiness. I don’t have anyone else. I only have you two. Who always praise and appreciate my works. Who support me of what make me happy. If you both just didn’t die…..**

Levi felt his chest tighten, how can anyone be so blind. No, how can Eren be so good at pretending to be okay? Levi did not think that with Eren’s calm face he was already going through a difficult time.

The next day, Levi keep glancing at everyone, finding a specific person named Eren Jeager. When he saw him being alone, wearing his headphone again, ignoring the world. He approach him as he put a coca cola can infront of him. 

**I don’t want to be alone anymore**

Starting that day, Levi didn’t leave Eren’s side even if he was being chased away sometimes, ignoring him. Eren probably say that he want to be alone, that he wants no one concern but he can’t fool Levi, not when he knows about it. Wherever Eren goes, Levi will stick to his side until Eren would snapped at him and leave him alone, walking ahead of him as Levi only chuckled and run to him. 

Levi do that in a week now and Eren can’t stop but feel annoyed and wondering if Levi take some illegal drugs that lead him to losing his mind. He has been following Eren none stop, even though Eren tiptoe and trying his best to be invisible, Levi will always find him. Some students are finding them weird and some of them asking question such as _‘are you two dating?’ ‘when did Levi take interest in you?’ ‘who confess first?’_ and the worst question Eren so far was from no other than fucking horse-face asking _‘who bottom?’_ then answered by his asshole friend with his name of course. 

Eren was tired with this bullshit and tired with Levi’s weirdness. Where is the cold Levi who won’t give a fuck to anyone? 

Eren don’t have tine to be alone after that, having Levi sticking to him like a fucking magnet. Not that he doesn’t like Levi’s company, it’s just that, Levi make him feels weird, making his heart hammered like a fucking maniac every time Levi take care of him. Every time he acts as if he really care for Eren. 

**If someone can ease this pain, if hurting myself satisfy me and make me numb forever.**

Now here they are, sitting in front of each other as Levi scold Eren for slicing his wrist, Somehow Levi notice that his wearing a sweater even though the weather is hot and when Levi force him to take it off, he saw multiple lines in Eren’s wrist. He just pout while glaring at Levi, of course he couldn’t protest. Not to someone like Levi. Also, it reminds him of her mother that always look out for him.

Sitting under the tree to his usual spot. Eren glance at Levi as he stop on what he’s doing in his phone. 

“What?” he irritably ask. 

Levi just shrugged and handing the can towards him. 

“It’s yours” 

Passing Eren his favorite Coke. 

“What do you want?” 

“I just want to talk to you” 

“Why are you talking to me? Gosh are you not sick sticking to me for weeks” Eren eyed him suspiciously, as he open the can with a small ‘thank you’ to Levi. 

“You’re ahm graduating next year” Levi wasn’t even sure how to start and what to do. 

Eren raise his left eyebrow and nod at Levi. “ah-huh. You’re graduating this year. What course are you going to pick at college?” 

Levi felt happy as Eren try to start a conversation to him. It’s a big deal. 

“Political science, I’m planning to become a lawyer. How about you?” 

Eren Look away as he grip his hand to the can, nearly crashing it. “Nursing, for pre-med course”

Levi furrowed his eyebrow as he remember one if Eren’s log. 

**I Can’t freely pick what inspires me, and what makes me happy.**

“How about studying arts? Since it’s your forte” 

Eren look at him, and the sadness is visible to his eyes. Now that Levi notice it, he didn’t realize that Eren’s eyes was nothing but lifeless now, it was empty. It’s not the same eyes as bright and happiness are visible to that oceanic eyes of his. 

**Eren was lost a years ago.**

_I Will bring you back Eren._

“I don’t really think arts is for me” 

**If I can just hold a paint brush, a pencil, a solid and a liquid color, a sketchpad, anything that relating in making me draw what I see. I would be living life without feeling restless.**

“Why not? I think your parents will li-“

“I don’t have those.” Eren found himself snapped at Levi making him avoid eye contact “Parents I mean”

Levi need a little push is he?

“Where they?” 

Eren was now staring at him, “paradise” 

his parents are dead. He is staying to this grandfather’s, makes his move limited and crashed his dream. 

“You know, you can choose the one you like Eren. If Arts will make you happy then go for it. If that what it takes to bring the life in your eyes then do it”

Eren don’t understand why Levi think of what makes him happy, of why he always pushing the arts to his life when he doesn’t know what Eren li-

Then it hits him. 

“You have it don’t you?” 

Levi look at him in a confuse manner, trying to question Eren with his face as he continue “My Diary.. you read it don’t you?” 

Eren watched as Levi’s face paled and was about to open his mouth when no words came out. 

Of fucking course he read it, he wouldn’t stick to Eren trying to be a nuisance, practically banging in his door to let him in. Helping him because he is a depress fucking person who doesn’t want to fucking live anymore. 

Eren stand trying to stay away from Levi when he grab his wrist making him stop. He was angry, how dare he read those notes. _He didn’t want anyone to find out. Is he?_

**I feel suffocated, with their high expectation. I don’t want to face this alone. I don’t want to be alone.**

“Eren, I’m sorry that I read it. I just-“

_All my untold feelings, was been found out by Levi._

“You don’t have the right Levi! I have been anxious for a weeks trying to think where the hell did I fucking left that shitty diary, afraid that someone might-“ Eren stop for a moment as he realize that he’s crying in front of Levi, he don’t want to look weak, he didn’t want someone to pity him. “if you’re sticking to me because you pity me, then stop it Levi. I don’t wan-“

“Of course you do! I just… I didn’t stick with you because of pity. I- I like you Eren and I want to be the person you need” 

Eren widened his eyes as he stared at Levi who’s staring at him. What Levi said makes his heart hammered loudly making him deaf as he all can hear was how loudly his heart was pounding to his chest. 

When he still didn’t move, Levi reach his face as he caress his cheeks softly while wiping his tears. 

**Can someone save me from this darkness, please.**

“I like you, I want to help you. I want to see the life in your eyes again. I want to see your smile again. I want to hear your little giggle and your loud ass laugh that sounds like a music to me. I want to see the Eren I saw back in his freshmen year” 

I was crying, I didn’t know someone would feel this way towards me. That someone will notice me, trying to fix me. _I didn't know, someone would really care_. 

“I want my Eren back” 

He pulled me in his arms as he snake his arms around my waist. I cried loudly in his arms, burying my face on his shoulder while wrapping my arms on his neck. 

“Let me bring Eren back”

**Maybe, someone can save me.**

**Author's Note:**

> Dont forget to leave comments everyone. I want to know your reaction, and also open for your suggestion and your critique. 
> 
> Good day guys!🖤


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